whyyyy meeeeeeee???

Well, I lied about the sad blog posts. Unless things turn around sometime VERY soon, (which they  better, or I'm going to SNAP), I'm going to have to rename this "The Daily Sob Story" or something. 

It is so sad when old people die, even more sad when young people die, and when PETS die (especially dogs) it is the saddest of all. I think it is because so many people can relate to their animals. They are a part of the IMMEDIATE family. It is like losing a sibling or a child or something. Our family cocker spaniel, Sugar, passed away last night. She hadn't been doing very well, but she held on until all 3 of us girls were home before she went. She wanted us all home. We all got to say goodbye. 

I have never actually WITNESSED death before last night. I've seen dead people, dead animals, but I had never actually seen someone die. My poor Sugarbaby. She had been so sick. Just really lethargic- laying around and sleeping a lot. She had a condition called Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia (apparently common in cocker spaniels). It comes on suddenly and usually is fatal within a few days, unless the dog can have a blood transfusion and is put on prednisone.  Well Honey--The Hero, gave her the blood transfusion, and she lived for a whole week afterward! I really honestly thought she was going to pull through and be the same as she always was. --- Barking her ass of when the wind blew, begging for food at the dinner table, rolling in random nasty things, tormenting skunks--- But I guess it was her time. Thinking she was going to be fine just made it harder to watch her go. 

Like I said, I've never actually witnessed death before last night, and I would rather not ever again. I'm a little bit torn though, because I am glad I was there, petting her and talking to her, telling her it was going to be OK, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I mean, I was holding her, telling her it was going to be okay, but I have no idea if it really IS okay... Who does? We just HOPE that they are going to a better place. I guess nobody knows for sure. I just didn't want her to be afraid.

We put Sugar in a box with a blanket after she took her last breath. She looked so peaceful, just like she was sleeping. It was eerie and strange, because as I looked at her in the box, I could have SWORN I saw her breathing. (I literally checked with my stethoscope, just to make sure... She wasn't.) Afterward, we all just sat there on the kitchen floor for a while. Honey just couldn't understand what was going on. She kept walking over to Sugar in the box and nudging her with her nose as if to say, "Hey! Come on, get up! Everyone's here! Wanna play?" After a few tries with no response, she just seem to get it. She plopped down next to her with the saddest look I've ever seen, and covered her nose with her paws. I know how she felt. 

I just hope Sugar knows how much we all loved her. It is so strange without her here. I dropped a bread crust on the floor earlier and I didn't even give it a second thought. I just went about my sandwich-making business. When I went back into the kitchen a few minutes later, it was still there. I was overwhelmed with sadness as picked up the stupid bread crust because I knew why I hadn't even thought about it before. Sugar used watch the floor like a hawk when someone was preparing food. Kiss anything you dropped goodbye, because Sugar would swallow it down in one chomp. Even vegetables. Sometimes even inedible things, like paper. 

Anyway, tonight we say goodbye to my grandma, and now my pup too. Calling hours are tonight with a dinner and cocktails (thank GOD) after. Then the church service bright and early tomorrow morning.

When it rains it pours I guess...